


nothing's gonna hurt you baby (as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine)

by hyungenie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, jisung and seungmin are minor but they're there..., this is my first time posting be gentle please, trans!hyunjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 03:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17358449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungenie/pseuds/hyungenie
Summary: he doesn't know how he was lucky, in this lifetime, to have met the sun and not get burned by it.





	nothing's gonna hurt you baby (as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine)

**Author's Note:**

> title very lightly inspired by the song by Cigarettes After Sex of the same name, but the story isn't based on it or anything.
> 
> unbeta'd, lapslock.

hyunjin was a beauty. a face composed of delicate features; plush lips, soft eyes, a cute nose, an even cuter beauty mark underneath his eye. you can't forget his dimple, either, felix thinks. the taller boy was always a sight to see. he always made the australian's heart flutter and beat in a rhythm no one could keep up with. it only got worse when their hands nearly brushed together on accident, or when they sat close to each other on the couch after a long day of class, or those spare and fleeting moments in dance practice when they're sitting up against the mirrored wall. felix shows him some new memes he's collected, hyunjin laughs at them with that wonderful giggle he has. he gets lost in the sound of it, falling into the deep brown of the others eyes, melts under the pressure of being next to someone so ethereal.

he doesn't know how someone like hyunjin could exist so effortlessly, but felix thinks he's in love.

 

 

flirting isn't something hyunjin was ever good at. he's never prided himself for his skills at anything romance related. it's usually chalked up to luck or good timing that anyone ever showed any remote interest in him beyond face value. felix...he wonders if he could truly and honestly say felix was any different than his exes. the foreign boy practically stuttered when they first ever spoke. hyunjin remembers finding it cute, not that felix wasn't cute all on his own, but there's something about seeing someone lose composure when talking to someone else that he always found funny. the guy was nice, almost too nice. he was sweet. his intentions were always good. there was never a mean bone in his body. hyunjin could see that from simply watching him from the farthest side of the classroom. his bright eyes, a smile that lit up his face. freckles dotting his cheeks like stars forming constellations in the night sky. he was like the warm sun on a day at the beach. 

hyunjin's never liked going to the beach to swim, but he imagines, perhaps...if it was anything like felix, soft and inviting, maybe he'd go one day.

 

-

 

amid word vomit and nonsensical sentences rooted in nervousness, felix finally asks hyunjin out on a proper date. he remembers feeling like he was going to pass out from being so light-headed. he remembers expecting a soft rejection. he remembers even thinking that hyunjin would take it as another one of his stupid jokes. he got none of those things. instead, his small hands are met with soft ones. his vision catches a blush forming on hyunjin's face, his insides feel like he's about to combust. hyunjin gives him a soft, but firm yes. a nod. a smile. 

“of course. i'd love to.”

that night, felix is texting his friend jisung with a plethora of exclamation points and crying emojis, trying to contain his desire to let out a victory screech as his friend replies with equal excitement for him. jisung tells him that he'd help him look for places to take hyunjin, maybe even help him with his outfit. but also, that it's nearly midnight and that they have exams the next day. not that felix cares.

 

-

 

they take their dates slow and careful. it doesn't seem that felix catches onto hyunjin's hesitation, thank god, because he's not sure how to open up completely. seungmin told him that it would be okay, in the end, if felix doesn't end up being the one. they are young, anyways, only sophomores in college. there's actually a much better chance that felix isn't meant to be his soulmate. hyunjin swallows that advice down like a large pill. he'd never admit to it, but he's always found himself to be a hopeless romantic. he thinks it was drilled into him from the very beginning, that he'd settle down one day with someone who would take care of him emotionally, mentally, physically. there's no way to call him traditional, there's not much to call traditional within the contexts of talking about hyunjin, but maybe the old, pre-college him still survived to give him rose-colored glasses.

he bravely reaches out to grab felix's hands, gently of course. they're not attached to a monster, they're attached to his new boyfriend.

 

-

 

several dates and a few months later, when they've come to a point of being unofficially official, it's the beginning of a weekend during the middle of the summer. it's too hot outside to want to do anything without whining and complaining about it, and one can only walk back and forth to a convenience store for popsicles so many times before realizing how much money they're spending. so felix finds himself in the coolness of his dormitory room, air conditioner blasting at max power, laying on his bed. head resting on hyunjin's thigh as he reads a book on shakespeare. hyunjin wasn't a literature major in any capacity, they were both dance majors, but he was always reading. always looking for something to entertain his mind with whenever his body wasn't being used to move and dance. felix enjoyed asking him about it. the taller always answered the questions thrown his way, sometimes with some sass thrown in, sometimes with just as much confusion in his words as felix.

“didn't you read that one already?” he inquires, his voice soft and low. hyunjin doesn't break from his focus.

“yes. but I don't have any new ones, so...”

“so...” felix teases. “you'd rather reread a book than...spend time with your significant other?”

“you learned a new word, it seems.” hyunjin quips, but felix doesn't budge.

“yeah, I did...but you're avoiding the question...”

hyunjin doesn't reply with words. only a chuckle, which is a sign that this is a losing battle on his front. felix pouts, eventually falling asleep where he lay.

 

-

 

it's late in the evening on a saturday. the lights in felix's room are all off, except for a small table lamp that manages to let the two see each other's figures like shadows. know exactly where their lips are, so when they're interlocked no one is missing. just enough light to let them see the outlines of each others bodies, so their hands never stray too far from each others waists, neck, shoulders. they're in a haze. the two have never been this intimate before, not even when making out while drunk. felix has always been so soft and respectful, never touching hyunjin unless he knew it was okay. they're no where near a bar, they aren't drunk. perfectly and happily sober. drunk in lust, maybe. perhaps it's to be expected at this point. hyunjin swears he could have felt it in the air for weeks.

they're equally both so lost in each other that he fails to notice felix's hands climbing up and underneath his shirt, instead he's moaning into the other's mouth as hands wander the expanses of his skin...until fear sets in, and he quickly stops everything. felix, reasonably so, freaks out a little in obvious concern. looking confused and worried, like he was ready to be quick with apologies, like he was ready to blame himself. hyunjin shakes his head, looking down at the hands he held tightly onto, observing how they were grasping onto his own with a gentle grip.

“I...I don't think I'm ready...”

the weakness in his words causes felix to scoot in closer, moving to hold hyunjin's face in his hands, smiling to assure his boyfriend. “we...we don't have to do anything you don't want to, baby.”

and normally...this is where they would revert to cuddling, watching netflix on felix's laptop, talk about food and consider the pros and cons of going out to get some. this is where their intimacy would end. but hyunjin refuses, shaking his head once more. “I want to, but...not before you know.”

 

-

 

hyunjin has always been a little secretive, or more likely, more exclusive in who he opened up to. his best friend, seungmin, was always so protective of him even though hyunjin clearly towered over him. felix never pushed. he never wanted to make his boyfriend uncomfortable. why would he want to do anything of the sort? quietly accepting the fact that hyunjin wasn't ready. maybe felix wasn't ready, either. but regardless he persisted, because of how he felt for the other boy.

the scars he sees on hyunjin's chest were obvious to see as the boy tugged his shirt off, so he couldn't play dumb, not that he was planning to. this was it. this was his secret. two lines, mirroring each other on the opposite halves. they weren't...new. they were well and healed. but it was clear that they hadn't always been there.

and despite how stupid felix liked to act sometimes to save his own ass, he couldn't act like he didn't see how scared hyunjin was. he was exposing himself and opening up unlike any time before. he couldn't even look felix in the eyes.

“hyunjin...” he begins to talk, reaching his hand out to run a finger along the scar slowly. hyunjin's skin is warm and soft, but the scar tissue feels...different, and it the touch make the other shake away. “why are you afraid?”

he's met with tears, words akin to 'i'm sorry', and the sight of a broken but still beautiful human being.

 

-

 

felix kissed away every single one of his tears. kissed his lips for good measure, made his way down to kiss every centimeter of hyunjin's chest, too. he can't recall every word the red-head said, being drowned in the sound of his own ugly sobbing, but felix was never mad. never upset. never anything beside warm. comforting. loving. hyunjin knows what seungmin said, way back in the beginning when he was first ever gushing about him. how there's a good chance felix wasn't his soulmate. that there's a likelihood that he wasn't the one.

he begins to disagree.

 

-

 

they celebrate the end of their third year by going to the beach. it's them and their mutual friends, all packed up in a van as they drive to the furthest beach they could, with towels and picnic baskets full of random snacks and other food assortments. felix never lets go of hyunjin's hand, bringing it up to kiss at his knuckles, which always causes him to giggle. his heart beats crazily like it had before they began dating, as he stares. he doesn't care what the others end up teasing him about. he doesn't mind the looks, or the overdramatic reenactment he catches jisung performing in his peripheral vision.

he's just happy to be going to the beach with his boyfriend, who was so unexpectedly cool with going with him and their friends for the trip.

 

-

 

felix...felix is the sun, hyunjin decides. with eyes like rays of light, a smile like a sunrise. the wind blows through his ever-growing hair like a theatrical movie scene and it makes hyunjin's heart perform tricks it's never pulled before. he sits on a laid out towel, hiding under the shade of a beach umbrella as he watches the others play volleyball. they're horrible at it, in truth, but he roots for them anyway. cheering them on while sipping on his water bottle. his eyes are glued on felix. how lively and happy he looks. how wonderfully loud he is. how cute he is.

he doesn't know how it happened. he doesn't know how he was lucky, in this lifetime, to have met the sun and not get burned by it. he isn't sure of what this meant for him.

but hyunjin knows he's in love.

**Author's Note:**

> haha, so...this is sort of bad? i've never shared anything i've written like this before so this is a whole new world to me.
> 
> edit: the parts in relation to hyunjin being transgendered is small, i know. i might write more in this sort of au if i get more inspiration to. hyunlix felt like a good fit, though?


End file.
